Where Have You Been? Reflections on Hayao Miyazaki’s Spirited Away
Hayao Miyazaki’s Spirited Away is beguiling and a challenging film to analyze. Every time I revisit Spirited Away I leave knowing I’ve watched one of the greatest animated films ever made — yet I’m unsure why I believe it’s so important. Tears stream down my face as the film closes, yet I’m left with more questions than answers. Why is Spirited Away so powerful? There are a lot of reasons for Spirited Away’s enduring impact, however, on my last revisit to the film, I was struck by one line that helped me understand why I think so many people respond to the film. This is the line that comes at the end when Chihiro finds her parents on the other side of the river and her mother asks her this question, “Where have you been?” Somehow with one line the complexity of Spirited Away gave way to a very distinct emotional coherence — we respond so strongly to Spirited Away because it mirrors our own journey into the world and our inability to explain it.
Chihiro’s mother asks her “Where have you been?” and Chihiro says nothing. Why is she silent? I want to argue her silence is the key to the film. She’s silent because she can’t even begin to imagine explaining what she’s seen, where she’s been, and who she’s become. The world of Spirited Away is haunting. At the center of it all is a bathhouse, a strange place filled with spirits, talking animals, an evil witch, danger, and new friends along with fantastical imagery — a train riding on water, sunrise lit clouds, flying spirits, spells and enchantments, a dragon and of course, No Face. How can she explain what she’s seen to her parents who have been asleep? How can she even explain the courage she’s gained through the trials she’s been through? How can she articulate that she now lives to give herself up for love, as she did for Haku? How can she tell the truth about the world to those who have been asleep?
I remember coming home from college and people asking me how it was and responding similarly to Chihiro — not knowing what to say or how to put into words the world I’d seen and experienced. Our journey from adolescence into adulthood infringes on our perceptions. Some never accept the challenge and maintain childlike perceptions of reality — small, self-focused, binary. Others allow new relationships, conversations, challenges, images, artistic expressions, and ideas to enable them to see a much more mysterious world — one that is hard to explain. Perhaps a world you can’t explain. On this last viewing, I realized the world of Spirited Away is intentionally mysterious, spiritual, mystical, dark, and yet beautiful because it is trying to mirror our own world. Our own world is not unlike the world of Spirited Away — full of trials and adventures, friends and foes, darkness and yet beauty — all wrapped and weaved together — a true enigma. The world of Spirited Away is beguiling because the real world we live in is beguiling.
What makes the ending of Spirited Aways so powerful is that it tells the story of Chihiro moving from a place of seemingly “knowledge” to a perception that comprehends with humility one’s own limitations — and that new humility setting her free. Chihiro at the beginning is a child; her world is small — whining and complaining about moving to a new place — a new world. The idea of a new school is terrifying for her and at the core, she is confined by her own small perception of the world — the safety and limits she seeks make her a child. Unable to do anything for others or comprehend the opportunities and beauties that exist outside her limited perception, she is a slave to herself and her own needs. But the moment she is thrown into the spirit world of the bathhouse her perception is changed and she participates in allowing her understanding to expand. Part of this is Haku saving her and she responding with dignity — realizing that every act of sacrifice somehow means turning your life upside down in a way that accurately responds to such an act of love. Part of it is simply the spirit world itself and the strangeness of it affronting Chihiro with higher demands and trials. Chihiro submits to the demands and trials of the bathhouse which call Chihiro to service and sacrifice which change her into someone willing to give up everything for love. The exposure to the world of spirits, of good and evil, of love and sacrifice, of romance and magic — and the inexplicability yet reality of it all transforms her into someone completely new — yet completely herself.
Isn’t it mysterious — how we can change and become someone new yet still ourselves? It’s this mystery at the center of Spirited Away that makes Chihiro’s silence to the question “Where have you been” so emotional. The “you” in question is paralyzingly emotional because Chihiro left herself behind long ago, amidst the hard work and trials of the bathhouse — she left the Chihiro she knew behind. It’s almost too much to put into words — the strangeness of Spirited Away is like our world and mimics the experiences we have as humans especially as we come of age that give density, complexity, and weight to our conception of ourselves and the world we live in. So when Chihiro is asked, “Where have you been?” How can she respond? Where has she been? Was it all a dream? Who is she now? Questions flood my mind as I think about my own life and the way in which I’m thankful for the times I’ve been spirited away into a much larger world than the one I saw previously and yet the silence that comes in conversation with those who don’t see the world I saw.
Some say Spirited Away is the greatest animated film of all time. And I would argue it’s for this very reason. That amidst all the complexity of the film’s narrative that few viewers can comprehend including myself — there is this beautiful overarching experience from the film that so deeply mirrors our own journey into adulthood. Part of that journey is leaving behind the child that only cares for the self and journeying into a world of sacrifice and virtue that allows us to see other people for who they are, mysterious — out of which comes this calling to be brave and to give yourself to causes, ideas and people that lets you find yourself by losing yourself. Chihiro at the end is a person who is willing to lay herself down for her friends and she is more Chihiro at the end than at the beginning. So again, when she is asked, “Where have you been” how can she respond? How can you respond? How can any of us describe the mystery of transformation? How can you begin to articulate and define inarticulable things like beauty and mystery and evil and good?
